You probably don’t see it, but things really will be okay. ❤
I think this has probably been the most enriching but most difficult month for me in my life thus far, and as a result I have been tempted just to throw everything (or almost everyone) away and start over from scratch. I’m not going to beat around the bush: this year completely sucked and I feel like nearly everyone new who has entered or reentered my life should probably be set on fire and then doused in my saltier-than-the-Red-Sea ocean of misery, annoyances, and justified complaints. The only ointment I have are my few closest friends and my family members…
What?! I’m human. Am I not allowed to vocalize my discontent? Who the hell are you to tell me how I can or cannot feel, or what I can or cannot say? I’m pretty sure you’ll feel this way–or have felt this way– at some point too. I’m just being forthcoming with you so you know where I’m coming from.
Like some fed up with this year, I began my usual magical purge: working with the Gemini Moon to eliminate some emotional sorrows and facilitate dialogue, hitting up Saturn on Saturnalia to turn hierarchies upside down in to hopes of loosening some societal pressures, following up on dream after dream. I had one in particular on the night of the Winter Solstice which was rather poignant.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY GROSS YOU OUT,
I dreamed that there were bugs underneath my skin that looked a lot like praying mantises, but they were not. They looked gross, dark, and I knew that beneath the skin of my arm was not where they belong. Some had gotten insanely large, and I was able to reach unto my pores and pull them out. There were some who’s body parts, or insect parts or whatever, started to become dismembered as I pulled them out of my skin, so I had to actually dig in and take them out manually. At one point, I thought I had gotten them all out, but as I started touching and pressing against my skin, checking for bulges, I found smaller, younger insects. When I had finished, I felt light.
…But I missed something. At my wrist there was a small seed which began to germinate, and in my dedication to get rid of **everything** burrowed under my skin, I had pulled out the sapling, and all of its roots, and threw it away. After contemplation of this dream in my waking life, I remembered how I had seen similar saplings in another dream, but instead it was part of a forest that comprised my hair. A friend of mine had given me a reading on the dream, and low and behold, there were indications that I may have went, or am going, too far in my house cleaning.
Like I said, I’m human. I’m pretty sure you’re human too. I’m also pretty sure you’ve felt the way I have felt, or perhaps you will feel this way in the future. My Christmas gift to you is access to this servitor for whenever you feel like destroying everything; it will help one to recognize those things which are worth preserving. Click here for more information about the servitor named Bigawi.